Eleven Hard Learned Lessons in the Journey of Writing, by Mary DeMuth

Eleven Hard Learned Lessons in the Journey of Writing, by Mary DeMuth

Hi friends! Today on the blog we have Mary Demuth, former Women of Faith speaker, literary agent and author of 30 books, sharing some hard lessons she’s learned along her journey of writing.  And beginning May 5, 2021, we are kicking off a four week series of teachings with Mary about building an author platform!!

COMPEL is having open registration right now but it ends TODAY!  If you’d like to sit under Mary’s guidance and need to learn how to build and grow your online platform, join today and take advantage of this amazing series!


Now read and enjoy Mary’s wisdom below!

I have completed a few sprint triathlons and a half marathon. Although I am no athlete, I have learned a lot by trying to stay in shape. As I worked out this morning, I tied 11 lessons to the journey of writing. Here they are:

  1. No pain. No gain. It’s a cliché because it’s true. I’ve had some new authors meet with me, expecting to hear that the journey toward publication was like a walk in the park (a slow, meandering one at that). When I share my story of publication, either newbies will freak out, or choose to believe that my story isn’t normative and that they’ll get discovered right then, or give up. Here’s the truth. Writing costs you something. It’s hard. It takes dedicated work.
  2. The writing journey is not a sprint. Writing for a living is a marathon full of shin splints, side aches, and breathlessness. If you want to succeed, you must realize pain is inevitable (including rejection).
  3. Just do it—another slogan that rings true. In terms of working out, I rarely feel like running or lifting or attending boot camp. Half my battle is just putting on workout clothes. Once I do that, I figure I may as well sweat a bit. That’s the key to writing. It’s a choice. A dedicated choice. An intentional choice. Sit down before your computer; put your hands on the keyboard and start writing.
  4. Don’t expect immediate results. I’ve been back on track this year after suffering from shin splints as I trained for a marathon. I haven’t lost all the weight I want to lose. In fact, I stayed at a certain weight for a period of time. This made me want to give up. But I knew that if I kept at it, eventually I’d see results. I’m starting to feel stronger. Some weight has come off. But beyond weight and how I look, the interior goal of becoming in shape has really been met. It’s the same for writers. We may not be published right away, but we will improve. Our craft will get better slowly. That itself is a worthy accomplishment.
  5. Hire a personal trainer. Sometimes we get stuck in a fitness rut. I know I had. So a while back I hired a personal trainer for a few sessions. She truly helped me see things differently. She pointed out my weak spots (my arms are as strong as Jell-O). She made me work harder than I ever thought I could. A good writing mentor can do that for you. He/she can point out where you’re weak, challenge you to dig deeper, inspire you to improve beyond what you thought yourself capable.
  6. Fuel yourself well. As I’ve worked out, I’ve included good eating. Eating whole foods (those items you find in the perimeter of the grocery store) really help to feed your body, make it strong. Similarly, writers need to feed on great words to be able to produce amazing words. Poems, stories, anthologies, books in and outside your genre, and essays—all these in variety help feed your imagination.
  7. Go outside. I’m happiest when I work out under a canopy of sky. And when I’m stuck in writing, a simple jog through the neighborhood usually helps jog my memory. (Pun intended).
  8. Don’t yo-yo. My trainer told me this yesterday: “It’s almost worse if you work out for a period of time and then become sedentary. It’s better to keep working out steadily.” It’s the same for writing. Sure, there are seasons in our lives where we need to place writing as a lesser priority, but if you’re truly serious about making writing a career, you’ll find a way to add writing to your life (even if in a small way) every day.
  9. Build muscle. Muscle burns fat. It helps us in many ways. Already I’m noticing my posture improve, and I have fewer neck aches at the computer because I’m lifting. In terms of writing, the more I work my writing muscle, the faster and better I write. Some folks ask why I write fast. It’s because I write a lot, building my muscle. And if I’m out of shape (not writing), my ability to generate words wanes.
  10. Don’t run (write) alone. Working out is not as much fun if you do it alone. I bring my crazy dog with me, and we have a blast. As writers, we are more apt to succeed with community behind and around us. Go to conferences. Find a critique group. Interact online. Join associations. Going it alone will be a lonely, frustrating road.
  11. Have fun. Ultimately if working out is drudgery and frustration, you will quit. Similarly, in writing, you must cultivate a fun, carefree attitude. Instead of letting rejection sideline you, see it as a redirection. It’s not a no, but a new opportunity to grow! Use your words, too, to bless others. Don’t simply write for publication, but seek to write words to others that will encourage the struggling. Often it’s our unpublished words that make an impact. Besides that, learn to laugh along the way. Don’t take yourself too seriously.

I’m no workout queen. But I’m getting stronger. I’m able to run faster and longer. I can lift more weight than I did when I started. I can do push-ups and modified pull-ups now.

As a writer, I’ve spent nearly thirty years getting word-fit. In that time, I curated over 10,000 hours of applied practice, including ten years writing in obscurity, penning miles and miles of unpublished words. I’ve had several books published. I’ve had the privilege to be a personal trainer to many through conferences and my website. I’m happy, thankful, and blessed. All that work and discipline has paid off.


Tracie Miles has been the Director of COMPEL Training at Proverbs 31 Ministries since January 2017, and has been volunteering on the speaker and writer teams for Proverbs 31 since 2007. Tracie is an author coach who works one on one with writers of all levels to help them pursue their writing dreams, and can be found at www.traciemiles.com. She is the author of seven bestselling books, including Living Unbroken, Love Life Again, Unsinkable Faith, Stress Less Living and Your Life Still Counts, and has a new book releasing July 2024 called God's Got You: Embracing New Beginnings With Courage and Confidence. She is also the founder of the national Living Unbroken Divorce Recovery Program, a 7 week study series to help women heal and recover together. Tracie has three grown children, two of whom are married, and lives in Charlotte, North Carolina. You can connect with Tracie on her website at www.traciemiles.com as well as on Facebook and Instagram.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *